TREASURED MEMORIES
by Ster J
Summary: The entire thirteen stories are gathered here in chapter form. Spock has kept treasures all through his life. What do they mean?
1. Teething on Rocks

Title: TREASURED MEMORIES: Teething on Rocks

Author: Ster Julie

Series: TOS

Pairing: Sarek, Spock

Rating: G

Part 1/1

A year ago, I wrote a pair of stories, "Spock's Treasures" and "The Treasured Box." Each contained elements that could be fleshed out into individual stories. This is the first of that series.

ooOoo--

It was Spock's first birthday, an auspicious day in a young Vulcan's life. On this day, the year-old child is to be presented to the entire family.

Spock had been very fussy the past few days because he was teething. Amanda had a difficult time dressing her son for the ceremony. Spock did not want to wear the fancy, pleated Presentation garments. Usually such a curious child, Spock did not want to do anything but be held in Sarek's arms. It had little to do with warmth or security. Sarek always had the most interesting things on which Spock could gnaw, and if that teething toy happened to be one of Sarek's fingers, well, he could tolerate that abuse far better than poor, fragile and bruised Amanda.

On the day of his son's Presentation, Sarek wore his finest clan wear, including the heavy, metal breastplate studded with polished semi-precious clan stones. Young Spock latched eagerly onto one of the embedded stones. It was smooth enough and cool enough to ease the discomfort in his sore little gums.

Disengaging his young son carefully from the breastplate, Sarek handed him to his grandmother T'Pau. This began another spate of fussing, even though the baby usually adored T'Pau.

"Sarek," T'Pau ordered, "remove the stone for Spock." At Sarek's reluctance, she added, "It is sufficiently large enough. It will not harm him."

Sarek did as his mother commanded and the ceremony continued without further interruptions.

T'Pau held her small grandchild. Intoning the proper chants of thanksgiving for this thriving child and calling on his ancestors from the time of the beginning of their clan.

Spock stared out at the many assembled relatives in fascination, openly curious, chewing on the stone, and happily burbling at the conclusion of the prayer.

"Thee agrees, Child?" T'Pau teased the little one.

Spock smiled and patted his grandmother's cheek. T'Pau's eyes sparkled as she looked deeply into Spock's curious, intelligent eyes, eyes so like her own. She turned Spock back to his parents.

When Spock caught sight of Sarek, he happily babbled, "Sa-Sa!" around the rock. Stretching out a pudgy arm to his father, Spock soon found himself scooped into Sarek's strong arms.

"Thy son has appropriated your jewel, Sarek," T'Pau observes. "Thee shall need a new clan stone. I shall send thee a replacement."

Amanda reached over and chucked her son gently beneath his chin.

"Show GranGran you toofies," she cooed softly to Spock.

Spock turned to T'Pau, wrinkled his nose and proudly displayed his gums in a garish grin. There, poking up from his gums, were the tiny points of two upper and two lower teeth.

"Such an accomplishment!"

Spock cooed in agreement.

End story 1

Next: By the Sea


	2. By the Sea

Title: TREASURED MEMORIES: By the Sea

Author: Ster Julie

Series: TOS

Code: Amanda, Spock

Rating: G

Part 1/1

Second in a series.

ooOoo--

"Mama!"

Amanda groaned. It had been a long trip to Earth, and getting to the bungalow seemed longer still. Young Spock had slept through most of it, but his parents had not. Even if they had gotten to bed at a decent hour, it was still too early to rise.

Sarek hadn't moved. She checked to make sure he was breathing (It was less intrusive than checking through the bond if her husband was all right!) before easing out of bed, donning a dressing gown, and padding over to the nursery.

Amanda found her son sitting crossly in his crib.

"Good morning, Baby!" Spock favored his mother with a dark look.

"Where MY bed?" He hit one of the bars keeping him prisoner in a bed meant for a child much younger than he. "Spock BIG boy. Want big boy bed!"

"And good morning to you, Mister Grumpy!" she said wearily. Amanda let the side down as far as it would go and held her arms out to her pouting son.

"Gotta potty," Spock declared before he deigned to uncross his arms and reach out to his mother. Amanda helped him out of the confining bed and led him to the facilities. As Spock took care of his urgent business, Amanda peeked out the window and smiled at what she saw.

The eastern sky was lightening, chasing away the dark of night with pastel splendor. She could see that the tide was ebbing, leaving the sand littered with shells. Amanda knew a little boy who had never experienced the ocean firsthand. It was time to introduce Spock to maritime wonders.

"All done," Spock announced.

"Spock, would you like a surprise?" Amanda asked.

"Yes, Mama!" he proclaimed loudly.

"Shh!" she warned. "Your father is still asleep. We have to be quiet." Amanda led Spock back to his room and pulled out appropriate clothing for him to wear at the waterline. Spock pulled off his pajamas and let his mother help him dress quickly. Motioning for her son to sit quietly, Amanda tiptoed to the master bedroom and gathered her own clothes, which she quickly pulled on while Sarek continued to sleep. They all needed this vacation, none more so than Sarek.

Amanda collected Spock and a tote bag. Together they eased out of the house, went down the stairs and walked the short distance to the shore. The light was still dim, so when the big wave crashed against the nearby rock jetty, Spock clung in fright to Amanda's leg.

"It's okay, Baby," she soothed. It's just the water."

"Too loud," Spock stated.

"Yes," Amanda agreed. "It's loud. It's the roar of the ocean."

"Ocean roar?" Spock puzzled. "Lematya roar."

"That's right," Amanda concurred. "The Lematyas roar, the lions roar, and the ocean roars." Amanda pointed out the first rays of dawn coming over the horizon.

"Water on fire!" Spock concluded.

"No, Spock," Amanda corrected. "That is only the reflection of the sun on the water. Isn't it pretty?"

Spock nodded. Just then several seals slipped out of the water and onto the rocks. Spock's mouth dropped open as they called to each other.

"Urk, urk urk!" Amanda imitated.

"Urk, urk!" Spock imitated right back.

"Look there," Amanda directed. Spock turned and saw a flock of seagulls circling a fishing boat just coming in from a night excursion.

"Eee, eee," Spock repeated their plaintive cry. Amanda was impressed. Smiling, she took her son's hand.

"Come, Baby," she urged. "Come see what surprise the ocean left for you."

"For me?" Spock asked in astonishment. Amanda laughed softly.

"Yes, Spock," she answered. "Today it is all for you."

Mother and son made their way to the tide line. It should have been easier to walk on the wet sand, except that each step revealed a new treasure. Amanda picked up a black mussel shell.

"Look, Spock." The boy oohed as she revealed the shell's iridescent colors inside. She held out the tote bag. "Do you want to keep it?" Amanda asked of her son. Spock nodded and dropped the shell inside the bag.

Spock took a step and stooped to pick up a round, white object.

"Oh, Spock," Amanda said happily, "You found a sand dollar." The boy dropped the shell into the bag.

Mother and son went from object to object, picking up one find after another. Most of them were bivalves, like the mussel and some of those were still attached to its other half. Others were gastropods of various sizes and textures.

Spock bent to pick up a soft, olive-hued object.

"Wait, Spock," Amanda warned. "That is sea cucumber."

"Balloon," Spock insisted. Amanda nodded.

"Yes it has an air bladder, much like a balloon," she confirmed. "But don't pick it up. It's . . . "

"Ucky," Spock announced, wiping his hand on his jacket."

"Ucky," Amanda repeated, amazed again at how fast her small child was.

Spock stooped suddenly and picked up a pair of good-sized whelk shells. He held them out to Amanda for inspection.

"Very good, Spock!" she praised. "This shell can do something very special." Amanda gently pressed one of the shells against her son's ear. She watched his curious eyes grow very large. "What do you hear?"

"Ocean roar!" Spock announced. Amanda laughed and held the other shell to Spock's other ear. He quickly pulled back.

"Too loud."

Amanda suddenly noticed something about the shells. When turned upside down, they nearly matched the shape of her son's delicately pointed ears.

"Spock," Amanda said playfully, holding both shells up to her ears. "Do I look more Vulcan now?"

Spock looked from side to side in amazement. His mother's ears now looked more like his!

Amanda picked her son up at the waist and swung him in a circle until he began to giggle with all his might. Amanda put Spock down and he ran from her right into the flock of sea gulls. The startled birds flew off in all directions. Spock tried to pluck them out of the sky, but to no avail. Amanda picked him up over her head and settled him on her shoulders. Holding her son's arms out, she swooped and dipped from side to side giving Spock the illusion that he was flying, just like one of the birds. She carried Spock like this all the way back to the bungalow.

Spock's happy cries carried all the way to the beach bungalow. Sarek rose from the bed, opened the door and observed the early morning antics of his very human wife and his halfling son. His tired mien grew dark.

Amanda swung her son off her shoulders and lowered the tote bag as they entered the small house. Spock fished out the two whelk shells and held them out to his father, but Sarek didn't move.

Amanda watched as Spock visually deflated at Sarek's silent reproof. Her happy little boy, bubbling with enthusiasm was gone in that instant. Little Spock didn't know what he had done wrong, but he knew enough to keep quiet. His gaze dropped to the twin treasures in his hands.

Sarek decided then and there that Spock's babyhood was coming to an end. It was time to stop indulging the boy and begin his rigorous trainings in the Disciplines.

Sarek wondered who would be more distraught at this, Spock or his mother?

End story two.

Next: The Box


	3. The Lesson of the Box

Title: TREASURED MEMORIES: The Lesson of the Box

Author: Ster Julie

Series: TOS

Code: Sarek, Spock

Rating: G

Part 1/1

Third in a series.

ooOoo—

Sarek was having difficulty mastering his frustration. It was his place, as Spock's father, to be the one to introduce the boy to the Vulcan Disciplines. As much as Sarek cherished his wife, he was beginning to wonder if Amanda was a bad influence on their son. Removing her from Spock's life would be detrimental to them all. Sarek –must- find a why around that.

He had tried the customary ways of introducing the ancient studies, but Spock would have none of it. He could not wrap his young mind around the concepts. His constant challenges, the numerous "Whys?" were wearing Sarek down faster than a stream of water on sandstone.

It was time to try a different approach.

"Spockam," Sarek called. "Come. It is time for your lessons."

"Noo," Spock wailed from the floor of his room. "I busy."

Sarek surveyed the clutter around his son. Spock had upended a container of items he had collected from the various places they had visited. As Sarek studied the items, he noticed that Spock had set them up in a grid. The boy had sorted them by color across the top and by texture down the sides.

"Spockam," Sarek chided gently. "You arranged these items in a logical manner, but when your elder calls, you must obey."

Spock bowed his head. "Yes, Father."

Sarek held out the basket and Spock replaced his treasures inside.

One item had not been on the floor with the others. It was the whelk shell Spock had collected on their vacation at the Earth beach. The boy tentatively held the shell out to Sarek.

"Ocean roar," Spock announced.

Sarek was puzzled. "No, son. It is a seashell."

Spock shook his head and held the shell up to Sarek's ear. "Ocean roar," Spock repeated, "inside." Sarek listened a moment and heard the sound waves bouncing off one another. "Why?" Spock asked.

"Why do we hear sounds in the shell?" Sarek clarified. Spock nodded vigorously, eager to soak up every bit of information.

/If only he would be so eager to learn the Disciplines/ Sarek thought. A sudden insight came to him.

"Spockam, it is time for your lessons," Sarek repeated. "Bring your shell. When we are finished, I will tell you why you hear the ocean inside."

Spock rose, carefully picked up his shell and followed Sarek into his study. Spock went and sat near Sarek's meditation brazier and waited.

Sarek entered the small storage closet near his desk, rummaged around a bit, then exited with three cartons in his hands. Spock watched him curiously but said nothing.

Sarek placed the cartons in front of Spock.

"Select a box, Spockam," Sarek ordered.

Spock inspected the boxes carefully. He pushed aside the carton that had two flaps on top. He then looked at the box with the interlocking closures. It was intriguing, but Spock found it too difficult to close.

The last box was a simple box with a separate lid. The texture of the linen finish intrigued Spock. He made his selection and pushed the box toward Sarek.

"This one," Spock announced.

"Open it," Sarek said.

Spock complied, then frowned when he peered inside.

"Empty!" he groaned.

/Someday, my son, you will learn how not to let the whole universe know what you are feeling./

"Spockam," Sarek began, "remember our earlier lessons about how the Vulcan people were ruled by their emotions?"

"Uh-huh," Spock replied. At his father's raised brow, he amended his reply to, "Yes, Father. The killed each other. Vulcans have to master their e-mo-shuns so we don't kill nobody like –they- did."

Sarek blinked. How could one so young grasp a concept so difficult?

"And what does mastery mean, my son?"

Spock screwed up his little face in thought.

"I dunno, Father."

Sarek placed the carton that Spock had selected earlier and placed it in front of his small son.

"Mastery is much like this box," Sarek began. "Just as the box can contain things, mastery will contain—control—emotion. This box will represent your mastery."

Sarek picked up the shell. Spock looked at his father with wary eyes. The shell was his favorite treasure, and Sarek had promised to explain how it made that sound.

"I want you to place into your box anything that represents your emotions," Sarek continued.

"Like what?" Spock asked fearfully. Would he ever see his things again?

"Like this shell," Sarek said.

"But you were gonna teach me about the shell!" Spock wailed.

Sarek blinked at Spock's reaction. "I promised to teach you about it after this lesson, Spockam," he soothed, as he held both the shell and the box out in expectation.

Spock took his shell and clutched it to his chest. He remembered the happy time he shared with his mother that first early morning on the beach. They had had such fun together running after the birds and listening to the ocean roar both at the shoreline and in his shell. He remembered how silly Amanda looked as she held two shells up to her ears and pretended to be Vulcan.

"You can see your shell any time you want, Spockam," Sarek said calmly as he continued to hold out the box.

Spock sniffled as he reluctantly put the beloved shell in the box.

Sarek put the lid on the carton and said, "Can you see the shell, my son?"

Spock pouted, crossed his arms and said, "No."

"But does the shell still exist even though we do not see it?"

Spock had to think a while. "Uh-huh," he finally answered.

Sarek placed the box in his son's hands.

"Mastery is like the box," Sarek continued. "We know that the emotions exist in us, but if we allow them full rein, then we will return to being savages."

"Like in the time before Surak," Spock interjected.

Sarek nodded. "Like in the time before Surak," he repeated, caressing his precocious child's head. "We remove the emotions from our actions and save them to be examined and mastered during meditation. We do not deny their existence, but we cannot allow them to control us. Do you understand?"

"Uh-huh," Spock replied absently as he studied the carton. "C'n I have the box?"

"It is your box, Spockam," Sarek replied. "You may place anything inside that you wish." He fished into his pocket. "I have something you may wish to place there."

Spock's eyes grew large as he gazed at the shiny object in his father's hand.

"That's your special rock," Spock said as he recognized one of Sarek's clan jewels.

"That rock has been replaced," Sarek explained. "I wish you to have this one."

Spock took the rock and examined it. It looked strangely familiar.

"You teethed on this rock," Sarek explained.

"When I was a baby?" Spock asked.

"Yes," Sarek replied. "Do you see the scratches?"

Spock peered at the rock. There were indeed several parallel gouges in the rock. He lifted the lid of his box, placed the object inside, and closed the lid.

"I sorry," he whispered.

Sarek was confused.

"For what, my son?"

"I messed up your special rock," Spock wailed.

Sarek placed gentle hands on his son's shoulders.

"It doesn't matter, Spockam," Sarek soothed. "The stone served its purpose and has been replaced. Let us speak no more of it."

Spock wiped his nose on his sleeve and nodded. "'kay"

Sarek lowered his hands to his knees and said, "So, then, Spockam. Do you still wish to learn about the sound in your seashell?"

Spock immediately brightened. "Yes, Father!"

"Bring your shell to the computer and we will learn together," Sarek ordered.

Spock popped the top off his box, withdrew the shell, replaced the lid and hurried to his father's side.

Sarek lifted Spock onto his lap as he called up information on sound and on seashells.

"You see, my son," Sarek began, "sound is made of waves."

"The ocean gots waves," Spock announced.

Yes, Spock…"

"How'd the ocean get waves?"

"There are many factors: the planet's rotation, tides, wind." Sarek saw a cup of tea on his desk. He held it out to Spock. "You can make waves in this cup by blowing on the surface." Spock puckered up to do just that, then he paused and looked at Sarek in confusion.

"But, Father, who blowed on the ocean?"

Sarek sighed silently. It was going to be a long afternoon.

End story three.

Next story: The Ear


	4. The Ear

Title: TREASURED MEMORIES: The Ear

Author: Ster Julie

Series: TOS

Code: Sarek, Spock

Rating: G

Part 1/1

Fourth in a series.

ooOoo—

Sarek found Spock on a stone bench in the garden. The boy's shoulders were slumped, burdened with a grief and blame too great for one so small.

Spock slowly became aware of his father's presence.

"Father," he murmured in greeting.

"I have retrieved E'Chaya's body from the mountains, Spockam," he announced gently. "The tanners will cure the pelt for us. What should be done with the hide?"

Spock blinked up at Sarek.

"It is not my place to decide," he rasped, barely controlling his devastation.

"E'Chaya was your pet," Sarek reminded Spock.

Spock shook his head. "But he was your pet first."

"But he was your pet in the end," Sarek insisted. "Shall we spin the fur into yarn and have something woven, perhaps a blanket or clothing?" Spock shook his head again. "Perhaps leave the hide intact and use it as a rug at the mountain villa?" Spock considered this, but in the end discarded the idea. "The only thing left is to tan the hide and make leather goods."

"Why so we have to do anything at all?" Spock anguished.

"The illogic of waste, my son," Sarek continued. "It would be a lasting tribute to one who gave his life protecting you."

Spock's fragile control shattered and his tortured soul burst forth.

"I TOLD you I was sorry!" Spock cried. "I shouldn't have gone into the mountains. I should have let E'Chaya follow me. He shouldn't have died. It's all my fault."

Sarek knelt at Spock's feet so that he would be eye-to-eye with his son.

"I for one am –grateful- that E'Chaya followed you into the desert," Sarek insisted. "He saved your life. What's done is done and in the past. No amount of emotion will bring him back. This is not a fitting way to pay tribute to one so brave."

"And turning him into a rug is?" Spock questioned.

"Spockam," Sarek began tenderly, "E'Chaya had no katra to leave with us and soothe our grief. By making something of his fur, he will still be with us. His fur will keep us warm in the mountains, and his leather can remind us of his bravery and loyalty when we gird ourselves with it." Sarek placed his hands on the boy's shoulders. "What is your decision?"

Spock took a deep, shuddering breath, fighting for control.

"It would be good to have a warm rug at the mountain villa," the boy stated.

Sarek nodded. "It shall be done. Anything else?"

Spock thought a long moment. "I require a small portion of E'Chaya for my box."

Again, Sarek nodded. "Do you wish to have a fang or an ear?"

Spock started at Sarek's bluntness. It seemed savage of Sarek to speak of dismembering the beloved pet so coldly. Spock reconsidered. Having a tangible piece of the selhat would be comforting.

"I wish to have his ear, Father." Spock decided.

Sarek nodded, remembering how Spock used to hold onto E'Chaya's ears as he rode the selhat's back.

"Very well," Sarek replied. "May I, too, have a souvenir?"

Spock blinked in surprise. "Why?" he breathed.

"I wish to have a memento as well," Sarek responded. "I wish to have his broken fang."

"Why?" Spock repeated.

Sarek got a faraway look in his eye. "E'Chaya broke that fang saving –my- life when I was your age."

"I didn't know that," Spock replied in awe.

"No one else knows," Sarek answered. He shook himself from his reverie. He stood, brushed the sand from his knees and held a hand out to Spock. "Come, Spock. Let us tell the tanner of our needs."

A month later, on the eve of Spock's proper kahs-wan, Sarek tied a strip of tooled leather around his son's waist.

"You have already proven yourself, Spockam," Sarek said calmly. "Run this kahs-wan in honor and in memory of E'Chaya. May his bravery encircle you as his leather does your waist."

Spock ran his fingers across the engravings.

"I am not afraid, my Father," the boy averred.

Sarek looked warmly into his son's eyes. He then withdrew a small packet and pressed it into Spock's hands.

"This is for your box," Sarek stated.

Spock gulped as he opened the package. He reverently took the preserved ear and ran its soft fur across his cheeks. The boy turned aside to get his box. He opened the lid and carefully placed the ear inside with the shell, the clan gem, and the other items. He looked at his treasures for a long moment before solemnly replacing the lid and returning the box to its proper place.

"It is past your bedtime," Sarek stated, holding his hands out to Spock. "Sleep well, my son."

"Sleep well, my Father," Spock replied, touching his hands to Sarek's.

The elder Vulcan moved to his customary place of meditation. He lit the brazier, but before he began his time of contemplation, Sarek opened a secret panel beside the meditation area and withdrew an old carton. Opening the top, he withdrew a small object from his pocket.

Sarek placed E'Chaya's broken fang on top of his own collection of treasures.

"Goodbye, old friend."

End story 4.

Next story: Birds of Consolation


	5. Birds of Consolation

Title: TREASURED MEMORIES: Birds of Consolation

Author: Ster Julie

Series: TOS

Code: Spock

Rating: G

Part 1/1

Fifth in a series.

ooOoo—

Climb. Climb. Reach. Strain. Climb. Hoist up on the ledge. Adjust harp across back. Climb. Climb. Sniffle. Climb. Reach. Slip. Reach. Slip. Reach again. Grab. Hoist. Higher, higher!

SCREAM!

Young Spock scrabbled higher and higher, faster and faster, up the mountain to the very top. He wanted to be as far away as possible from those that took his brother away, far away from those who –let- his Sybok be taken away.

Soon, yet not soon enough, Spock found himself at the summit of the mountain. All of Vulcan lay at his feet. He threw back his head and poured out his grief to the four directions. The winds tried to caress him, tried to console him, but Spock would have none of it. He struck out at the air and continued screaming.

Spock slipped back down the trail a little ways and entered the cave he and Sybok had once discovered there. He circled the cave's perimeter, ranting and raving like a fevered male. He screamed again until his ears rang. He bellowed until his throat was raw. He pounded his fists against the rock until they bled.

Then, young Spock took hold of his Vulcan harp by the neck and bashed it against the cave wall. The harp exploded into shards of wood as the "twang" of sundered strings echoed in the cave.

"Sybok!" Spock shrieked. "You promised that you would always be with me!"

Spock staggered to the mouth of the mountaintop cave and screamed until he passed out.

oOo

The warbling cry of the morning birds roused the sleeping boy. The fluttery touch of something brushed Spock's cheek and he opened his eyes.

Looking up, Spock saw the silver birds cartwheeling on the morning breezes, showering him with discarded iridescent feathers.

Spock's katra drank in the vision and the consolation of the rarely viewed sight. He dropped into the meditation pose and contemplated the recent events—Sybok's exile and his own response. After a time, he rose and gathered a handful of the feathers. He then picked up the largest shard of his spoiled harp and wound its attached string round and around, making a package of wood and feathers. Tucking it into his tunic, Spock began the long hike down the mountain.

oOo

Amanda nearly screamed at the sight of him.

Spock was covered in dust. The fine red soil lightened his hair and darkened his skin. A small cloud of dust trailed him and eminated from the youth each time the wind caressed him.

Sarek rushed to the door at the sound of Amanda's strangled gasp. He drank in the sight of his younger son, his –remaining- son and hurried to bring him water.

Spock removed his desert suit and boots. He shook the dust from his hair and went straight to the garden fountain. Kneeling in the water, Spock let the spray trickle over him and rinse him clean.

Dripping, Spock rose from the fountain and returned to his pile of clothing. He retrieved the bundle he had made on the mountaintop.

Amanda had never seen anything like it. Sarek had never seen so many of them before. There, in Spock's hands, were a dozen silver feathers, shiny bright like new tin.

"One for each year we were brothers," he rasped.

Amanda started at the hoarse sound of Spock's voice. Sarek stilled her with a touch. There was no need to state the obvious.

Spock removed a feather and gave it to Sarek. He gave another to Amanda.

"For the ceremony," Spock declared. Sarek nodded in understanding. The family would have a mock funeral for Sybok, declaring him dead to them and striking his name from any family record. Since there would be no body, no ashes to release to the winds, Spock intended use the silver feathers.

Sarek picked up Spock's hand, the one that held the bit of wood and wire. He recognized it as a shard of Spock's harp. /The illogic of waste/ Sarek thought.

Spock raised a challenging eyebrow at his father. /Don't start/ Spock thought. /Sybok was wasted and you did nothing./

Sarek held his tongue. He knew that Spock had to work out his grief for himself. Instead, he turned his attention to his son's fingers. They were torn and tattered as Spock's tortured soul must be.

"Come inside," Sarek said gently. "We will see to your hands."

Amanda placed her hand against her son's cheek. Spock tuned his head and nuzzled against it briefly. "Come inside," she repeated. "We will make you something warm and soothing for your throat."

Nothing more was said of Spock's trek to the mountain. His hands were treated and healed. His shattered harp was replaced so that he might further his music studies. His token of splintered wood, harp string and feather was reverently placed into his box. The rest of the silvery fluff he dispersed to the four winds.

And his katra sang out in plaintive cries to his Sybok.

End story 5.

Next: The Outcast


	6. The Outcast

Title: TREASURED MEMORIES The Outcast

Author: Ster Julie

Series: TOS

Code: Spock, OMC, Sa, Am

Rating: G

Part 1/1

Sixth in a series

A/N: Text bracketed by / indicate flashbacks. Text bracketed by / indicates thought-speech.

ooOoo—

Orientation was over. Spock entered the dormitory for first year cadets and found that only half of his belongings had been delivered to his room. His satchel had been searched and only the clothing and toiletries remained.

/If you do this, if you pursue this illogical dream, you will be cut off from the family. You will be no son of mine/

Spock looked around his room. His box was nowhere to be seen.

/You will take nothing from here, nothing of mine. You will be cut off, cast out./

It was not under the bed, in the closet, on the desk, or hidden in a corner.

/There will be no welcome for you at our door. There will be no fresh water to slake your thirst./

Frantic, Spock concluded that it had either been stolen or confiscated.

/You will be alone. Your name will be stricken from our records./

Spock felt panic start to choke him.

/You will have no people. You will have no arms to comfort you in the night, no support in your difficulties. You will walk your path with no guidance, with no accompaniment./

"No."

/You will be vre'kasht/

"NOOOO!"

The commandant noticed a dark shadow crossing his doorway. Looking up, he found the new Vulcan cadet staring at him.

"It is customary to knock, Cadet," he glowered.

Spock raise his knuckles and rapped on the doorframe.

"Enter," the commandant replied.

"I respectfully request that my belongings be returned," Spock said without preamble.

"It is also customary to announce your rank and name and ask permission to speak," the commandant continued.

Spock blinked. He found several layers of illogic in the commandant's two statements, but this wasn't the time to bring it up.

"Cadet Spock . . ."

"And stand at attention."

Spock squared his shoulders as he was shown earlier in the day and began again.

"Cadet Spock requesting permission to speak, Sir!" /SO illogical . . ./

"Permission granted, Cadet Spock," the commandant replied.

"Sir! I respectfully request that my belongings be returned, Sir!"

"Cadet Spock," the commandant continued patiently, "you were given a list of items to bring with yourself to Starfleet Academy. A box of trinkets was not included on this list."

"Sir! They are not trinkets, Sir!" Spock noticed that his voice had raised a half-tone in pitch and 3 decibels in volume. He took a deep breath /Control/

"Are these items religious in nature?"

"Sir! They are cultural. They are important. Some of them are used in rituals. Sir!"

"Then they are religious."

"Sir! They are not, Sir!"

"A seashell, a feather. Are they totems?"

"Sir! I am unfamiliar with that word, Sir!"

All the "Sirs!" were beginning to give Spock a headache. What a way to begin his time in Starfleet!

"Are they talismans?"

"Sir! I am unfamiliar with that word as well, Sir!"

"Are they amulets, lucky charms?"

"Sir! No. They are just significant to me, Sir!"

"Why?"

Although Spock kept his eyes front and center, he ached to turn his face, hide his eyes, anything to keep the commandant of Starfleet Academy from seeing the emotion there, the tears that were beginning to gather.

"Sir!" Spock said with less force and volume. "They are all that is left to me of my people. They are the only things left that tie me to my world." The tears filled his eyes and threatened to spill. "Sir," he added belatedly.

"I don't understand."

Spock could not keep his chin from quivering. "I was pronounced vre'kasht for joining Starfleet," he whispered. "Sir."

"Vo-ray . . .?"

"Vre'kasht. Outcast."

The commandant was astounded. "You were disowned?"

"My father had my life planned out for me," Spock continued in a small voice. "Being a Starfleet officer was not part of his plans."

"So you gave up . . ."

Shameful tears marred Spock's young face. ". . . Everything."

"So that is why your parents' names are not listed on your application, why you don't have an address listed other than Vulcan."

Spock felt his cheeks, his ears flush green. "I have no home now, save Starfleet."

The commandant was shocked into silence for several moments. He pulled out his drawer and held a box out to Spock. "Here's a tissue, son."

"Thank you, Sir. May I have my box now? Sir?"

The commandant smiled gently at his new Vulcan charge. It was not his intent to make the poor boy cry on his first day at the Academy. "Certainly, Cadet Spock. I will classify the box as a container of religious items."

"But, Sir! They are not religious . . . "

"Look," the commandant interrupted, "if I were to put 'cultural items,' you would not see them for a long time, Cadet, perhaps never again. The rules are fuzzy regarding religious items, within reason, of course."

"Of course. Sir!"

"Just don't burn that incense in the dorms," the commandant concluded as he held Spock's precious box out to him. "Find somewhere outside, or better yet, find another way to use it."

Spock wiped his eyes and folded up the tissue. He took the box from the commandant and opened it, taking a quick inventory of the items it contained. There on top were the newest items, ones that Amanda had given him at the Spaceport.

/"Spock! Wait!" a woman's melodious voice called. Spock turned back to see his mother Amanda tear a length of ribbon from her clothing. She knew these robes were Spock's favorite garments on her. "Take this with you," she said tearfully. "Know that I am always with you." Spock took the ribbon from her hands, lingering his fingers on hers./

/"I know, Mother," he said gently before turning to board the shuttle for Earth that would take him to Starfleet Academy./

/"Take this, too," she said pushing a holoframe into his hands./

/Spock pushed the button and saw himself on this Bonding day 14 years earlier. He was flanked by a regal, doting Sarek and a smiling, proud Amanda./

/Amanda tapped the image of Sarek. "Remember your father this way, Spock," she said as tears filled her eyes. "Don't remember the way he was today."/

Spock touched the frame and the ribbon reverently, then placed the used tissue inside and closed the box. He snapped back to attention.

"Sir! Thank you, Sir!"

"Is there anything else, Cadet Spock?"

"Sir! No, Sir!"

"Then you are dismissed."

End story 6.

Next: Father Figure


	7. Father Figure

Title: TREASURED MEMORIES Father Figure

Author: Ster Julie

Series: TOS

Code: Spock

Rating: G

Part 1/1

Seventh in a series.

ooOoo—

Personal Log: Stardate 1243.02

I heard news today that would be considered good by most. But my . . . feelings . . . tell a different story.

Captain Pike was promoted today. He will no longer be commanding the Enterprise; he will no longer be commanding –me.-

This promotion is the logical consequence of a job well done. Captain Pike is an exemplary officer who has served with distinction. I have learned so much from him.

While I have a vast knowledge in many areas of science, Captain Pike showed me how those facts are crucial to command decisions, in times of crisis as well as in times of "milk runs." Captain Pike taught me how all departments serve together as a team. The ship's missions have been successful, not because of one being, but because of the integration of the whole crew striving for the same goal. I am a much better officer for having served under Christopher Pike.

But my meditations tonight have proven that I am reacting emotionally, even selfishly, to the news of Captain Pike's transfer. I am . . . devastated. I will be without the one who accompanied me on this journey away from my homeworld. Had it not been for that chance meeting fifteen years ago between then-Lieutenant Commander Pike and me, I would not have given a career in Starfleet a single thought.

I have retrieved my box and am holding a sample of the singing vine from Talos IV. It brings back a flood of memories for me. It was during my third month out of the Academy when we reached Talos IV. Every landing party was a feast for my curiosity, and when Captain Pike and I found the singing vines we both grinned in delight at the discovery.

Now, I am not grinning. I am feeling abandoned, orphaned. I can finally admit that Captain Pike was my surrogate father. And now that I acknowledge it, I can see how Captain Pike and Sarek are so much alike.

Captain Pike would brook no nonsense, no duplicity. He could speak volumes with one glance and silence the most loquacious foe with one word. There is such a presence to Captain Pike that I could sense his arrival long before I saw him. His very presence instilled a desire in me to be everything he needed. I did not ever want to disappoint Christopher Pike.

It was once thus with Sarek. Father could silence me with a word, give me a wealth of instruction with a glance. Sarek called forth and demanded the very best in me. Like Captain Pike, he was firm yet fair. And also, like Captain Pike, he could be very tender when the need arose. Just as Sarek did when I was small, Captain Pike would be at my bedside when I awoke following each of my 12 serious illnesses and injuries during the time we served together. Whenever I faced a personal difficulty, I found comfort, consolation, and encouragement by being in Captain Pike's presence, just as I did with Sarek.

But now, once again, I find myself alone. I will have to walk this path unaccompanied. And I am devastated.

Control! My emotion brings no honor to Captain Pike. His legacy would best be served by making the transition from Captain Pike's command to this new captain's as seamless as possible. I will honor Captain Pike by showing this James T. Kirk how much I learned, by showing him just how good an officer Captain Pike has made me.

And I swear on my honor as a Vulcan, that if Captain Pike is ever in need, I will walk through Hell itself to help him.

End log entry.

End story.

Next: Cave In!


	8. Cave In!

Title: TREASURED MEMORIES Cave In!

Author: Ster Julie

Series: TOS

Characters: Spock, Kirk, Piper, Chapel

Rating: PG

Part 1/1

oOo--

It was a day of firsts.

It was the first mission for the new captain of the Enterprise, and an unexpected one at that. A distress call from the Janus V mining colony diverted the ship for a rescue mission. One of the mining tunnels had collapsed, and the colony was hard-pressed to rescue the many men that were trapped.

It was Captain James T. Kirk's first away mission as commander of the Enterprise, and he wanted first-hand information on the disaster. It was also Kirk's first opportunity to get away from the mountain of paperwork he had to wade through in the transfer of command, and he was ready to get his hands dirty.

It was Spock's first time on an away mission with this untried captain. He found himself studying the human about as much as he was studying the situation on Janus V.

It was the first time any of them had been trapped in a cave-in.

It was the first time that Montgomery Scott, new chief engineer of the Enterprise and now in the chain of command had to take the center seat. With both the captain and the first officer in sickbay, and the second officer Gary Mitchell still trying to catch up to the ship after it's unexpected detour, Scott had to take command, leaving his poor bairns in the hands of his assistant chief. The engineering department was also involved in the shoring up of the mining tunnels to prevent another collapse, and Scott had to supervise all that from the bridge as well.

It was Spock's first time waking up after a serious injury without Christopher Pike at his side.

It was Christine Chapel's first day of her first deep space mission; the first day as Head Nurse on a starship with a new captain; and it was her first time seeing to the medical needs of said captain and his half-Vulcan first officer. It was also the first time she had heard such whimpering sounds coming from a Vulcan.

Doctor Mark Piper moved to Spock's side.

"I'm sorry, son," he soothed. "I had to medicate you for surgery. Hang in there. The drugs will be out of your system soon and then you can go into your healing trance. Try to even out your breathing and it won't hurt so much."

"How is Captain Kirk?" Spock managed.

Dr. Piper looked over to the next bed, to the still form lying beneath the sterilite.

"He took a blow to the head," Piper informed. "He's in a coma."

Spock peered blearily at Piper.

"What?" he said.

Dr. Piper leaned closer.

"I said, our young captain slipped into a coma," he said quietly. "Now, don't worry about anything. Mr. Scott is in command. As soon as the repairs are finished in the mine, we will move to the closest starbase hospital."

"DS4," Spock supplied automatically. He craned his neck until he could see the captain's sleeping face.

"You know," Dr. Piper began, "despite his head injury, Captain Kirk stayed at your side until you were free. He pulled most of the rock off you and carried you to meet the rescue team. He didn't collapse until everyone was accounted for. Your first mission together, and he saved your life."

Piper patted Spock's shoulder, mindful of all of his many bruises.

"Get some rest, son," Piper ordered gently. "Go into your trance whenever you feel strong enough. Somebody will be nearby to monitor you."

"Understood," Spock whispered as he drifted off to sleep.

Spock came to, gasping in pain as Dr. Piper pressed hard on the Vulcan's sternum.

"Are you okay, son?" Piper asked.

Spock rubbed his chest. "Affirmative."

"You came out of the trance too soon," the doctor scolded. "Your bones are barely healed."

"I have to see to the ship," Spock replied weakly, struggling to rise.

"The ship is fine," The doctor stated. "There's no logic in getting up too early and re-injuring yourself."

Spock collapsed in defeat. Dr. Piper knew just how to get to Spock, knew just the right thing to say to get Spock to comply. Mark Piper, although older, was a suitable replacement for Dr. Boyce who retired two years before Captain Pike was promoted. Spock wondered if Captain Kirk would keep the elderly physician on for this five-year mission, replace him mid-mission when the doctor reached retirement age, or request someone else immediately.

"When you're up to it," Piper continued, "I have a job for you."

Spock blinked in confusion.

"I already have a job," he said. "While the captain is unconscious, I am in command."

Piper shook his kind, grandfatherly head.

"Not until I say so," he said with a small grin.

Spock was curious.

"What sort of job?" he asked.

"A very easy one," Piper answered. "I need someone to stimulate Captain Kirk into waking up."

Spock drew back. "What sort of 'stimulation' do you intend me to use?"

"I just need you to talk to him," Piper supplied. "Stimulate his brain. Make him want to wake up."

Spock drew back even further. Kirk was still a stranger to Spock.

"What should I say to him?" he asked warily.

"Give him update reports on the ship," Piper suggested. "Read him a book. Tell him about yourself. Anything to get him out of himself. He needs to know that he is okay and it's safe to come back. Can you do that?"

Spock considered all of Piper's suggestions. "I will try."

Piper handed an old-style, worn, paper book to Spock.

"I sent Nurse Chapel to the captain's quarters and she found this near his bed," the doctor explained.

Spock was lost in the scent of the antique book. He was transported back to his mother's library that was filled with olds tomes such as this one. Opening the book, Spock found that it was some of the collected novels about Horatio Hornblower. So this captain shared his curiosity in ancient books. Perhaps Spock could uncover more of the young human's interests.

Gingerly, Spocked moved into the airchair the doctor had pulled up alongside his bed. He took care of his bodily needs then headed for the captain's bedside, first stopping to ascertain ship's status.

"Captain Kirk," he began, "this is Lieutenant Commander Spock with a report on our current status.

"The Enterprise is still in orbit around Janus V. Lieutenant Commander Scott is in command since both you and I are confined to sickbay, and Second Officer Gary Mitchell is still trying to rendezvous with the ship. He said to tell you, 'I can't believe you set sail without me.'

"As soon as the engineers are finished with the repairs on the mining colony, we will be pulling out of orbit and heading for the Starfleet hospital at Deep Space Station Four. Doctor Piper says that you are in need of a specialist for your head injury.

"You and I rescued twenty-one miners before the ceiling collapsed. I tried to push you out of the way of the rocks, but I was not as successful as I had hoped, and for that I apologize.

"I myself suffered three broken ribs and a fractured femur. The bones are fused yet still tender. I also have numerous bruises and contusions from the collapse in the mineshaft. Dr. Piper will not release me for at least three days.

"In the meantime, he has asked me to speak to you, give you reports, and read to you. Please forgive the intrusion, but one of the crew was sent to retrieve a book from your quarters so that I might read something you would find of interest.

"Before I begin, I must tell you that my mother has a vast collection of old, paper books, including the entirety of this series. If you have not read all eleven of C.S. Forester's books on Horatio Hornblower, perhaps I can convince her to lend them to you.

"Did you know that Horatio Hornblower and his adventures were based on actual events? Mr. Forester purchased three volumes of The Naval Chronicle of the British Royal Navy from 1790 to 1820 and used the information there as background for his novels. I find that fascinating.

"This book is an appropriate choice, Captain. 'A Ship of the Line,' by C.S. Forester."

Mark Piper shook his head in wonder. For someone who didn't know what to say to his new captain, Spock was really bending Kirk's ear.

When Nurse Chapel came back on duty, she found Spock sitting quietly by Kirk's bedside. She noticed that the marker in the book she had retrieved for Dr. Piper had moved from the front to the middle of the book.

Chapel set a pitcher on Kirk's bedtable and put a glass of water (no ice) in Spock's hand. He drank it down greedily and held the empty cup out for a refill.

"You know, sir," Chapel said quietly as she refilled his glass, "you don't have to read the entire book to him today."

"Dr. Piper said I needed to stimulate him," Spock explained.

"Perhaps it would be better if you varied the kinds of stimulation," she suggested. "I took the liberty of going to your quarters and brought you this." The nurse went to a side table and returned with Spock's Vulcan harp.

Spock gave the nurse a raised brow for being forward, yet he took the harp and began to play.

By the third day, Spock had completed his extensive repertoire of musical pieces that would not sound offensive to human ears. He had also finished reading "Ship of the Line," the ship's logs, and every bit of paperwork a ship of this size could generate, right down to the fuel consumption reports and crew duty rosters.

There was no change.

Spock heard the sound of a cart being rolled to Kirk's bedside. Looking over, he saw Nurse Chapel wheeling over a three dimensional chess set.

"Breaking and entering again, Nurse?" he teased.

Chapel broke out in a shy smile. "Well, sir," she stammered, "I found this set in the captain's quarters and, well, I know you are a grand champion and all. I thought if you played a game with the computer, but told the captain of every move, maybe that would stimulate another portion of his brain."

Spock raised his brow in response. "Logical," he agreed.

Spock quickly set up the chess pieces as Chapel pulled over the wall-mounted computer screen.

"Computer," he said.

WORKING, the computer responded.

"I will take white."

AFFIRMATIVE.

"Queen's knight to Queen's Bishop four."

And so it went. At first there was some change in Kirk's EEG, but as the games went on, ending in tie after tie, the brainwaves began to even out again.

"Spock," Dr. Piper began, "stop trying to beat the computer. Make some mistakes, some big ones."

"Mistakes?" Spock repeated.

Piper nodded. "Yes, real whoppers. Let's see how that stimulates our captain."

Spock turned back to the chess boards. "Computer."

WORKING.

"King's pawn to King three."

QUEEN'S KNIGHT TO QUEEN'S BISHOP SIX.

"King's bishop to Queen's rook six."

Piper noticed much more movement in Kirk's brainwaves.

QUEEN'S KNIGHT PAWN TO QUEEN'S ROOK SIX. PAWN TAKES BISHOP.

"Queen to King two."

QUEEN'S KNIGHT TO QUEEN'S KNIGHT EIGHT.

"Queen to Queen's rook six. Queen takes pawn."

Kirk started to move slightly.

QUEEN'S KNIGHT TO QUEEN'S ROOK 6. KNIGHT TAKES QUEEN.

"It's working," Piper exclaimed happily.

"Stupid move," Kirk muttered in a weak voice.

"Welcome back, Captain," the doctor said in a cheery voice as he waved ascanner over him.

"Ship's status?" Kirk asked tiredly.

"We are en route to the base hospital at DS4," Spock announced.

"Why?" Kirk asked.

Spocked looked to Piper. Piper looked to Kirk.

"Well," the doctor said, "I guess we don't have to go there anymore."

"Where's Gary?" Kirk asked next.

"Lieutenant Commander Mitchell did not make launch time," Spock reported.

"I told him that if he was late, I'd sail without him!" Kirk groused. "Where is he now?"

"He has been chasing us, Captain," Spock stated dryly, "First to our original mission, then to the mining colony at Janus V, then to DS4."

"Well, find his location, go get him and beam his sorry ass aboard!" Kirk huffed before collapsing back on the bed. "Oh. Shouting. Bad idea," he muttered.

Piper patted Kirk's shoulder. "That's it," he said, "just rest." The doctor turned back to Spock. "And you haven't been released yet either, Spock. Back to bed," Piper ordered.

"Not before I thank the captain for saving my life," Spock said.

"I did?" Kirk questioned. "I don't remember anything."

"Nevertheless, sir, you did, and I thank you," Spock said. Sarek had always told him that thanks were illogical, but Amanda was right. When you live with humans, you have to make a few concessions.

Nurse Chapel saw the first officer back to bed. She reached into a pocket of her slacks and withdrew a non-descript rock.

"Here," she said as she pushed it into Spock's hand. "A souvenir I found in your boot.

Spock looked at the rock, turning it several times.

"It may not the most beautiful specimen," Chapel continues, "until you realize what it represents."

Spock looked at her quizzically.

"Survival," she explained. "You should not have survived being buried under all that rock. If it weren't for Captain Kirk ignoring his own injury and pulling your free . . . " Chapel looked over her shoulder at the now-sleeping Kirk. "And perhaps this rock symbolizes the beginning of a rock-solid friendship. Why else would you do what you did for him for the past three days?"

Spock held the rock in his hand as Chapel left to return the chess board, book, and harp to where she found them.

The symbol Spock had in his box to represent his friendship with Christopher Pike was a fragile leaf. Could he anticipate forming a friendship with this new captain as enduring as this rock? They had already risked their lives for each other, and it was only their first mission together!

He would wait and see.

End story 8

Next: I Was Happy


	9. I was Happy

Title: TREASURED MEMORIES I Was Happy

Author: Ster Julie

Series: TOS

Characters: Spock, Leila, McCoy

Rating: G

Part 1/1

Ninth in a series

oOo--

Spock felt like pacing.

Sickbay was so full of patients, both crew and colonists alike, that Doctor McCoy had ejected all but essential personnel--and that included Spock--to give them all some elbow room.

Dr. Leila Kalomi was being treated for overexposure to Berthold rays, like many of the others that had returned to the planet or remained behind to pack up the colony without the benefit of spores from the Omicron Ceti III lily.

Spock was still smarting from the conference he had had with his mother. Poor Amanda had to act as the mediator between father and son--a daunting task. Spock had begged to be released from his bond to T'Pring. He much preferred to take Leila as his wife than that ice princess. Leila was everything T'Pring was not. Spock had argued that T'Pring had closed herself off to him long before he went to Starfleet Academy. Sarek would not be swayed. Amanda tearfully cut off the communication with, "I'm so sorry, son."

So now Spock had to disappoint Leila once again.

The doors to Sickbay finally opened and Leila walked slowly into the hall. At the sight of Spock she smiled tiredly.

"Were you waiting for me?" she asked in her sweet voice.

Spock moved to her side and placed a supporting arm around her waist.

"Are you all right?" he asked with concern.

Leila nodded. "I will be, with some rest," she answered. "Could you help me to my quarters?"

"Of course," Spock answered. "Can you walk?" he asked, ready to sweep her into his arms.

"Yes," Leila replied as she slipped an arm around Spock.

The two walked in silence until they reached her cabin door.

"Leila," Spock began awkwardly, "I wish to speak with you."

"Come inside," Leila invited as she palmed open her door.

Spock settled Leila on the bed, then pulled up a chair and sat next to her. He studied the carpet for many moments as he gathered his thoughts and his tenuous control.

"Leila, " Spock began, "I want to be with you, but I cannot. It has nothing to do with you," he rushed to add as Leila turned her face to the wall. "It has everything to do with me. I am engaged to be married." Spock heard a sob come from Leila. "I tried, but I cannot break the marriage contract. If I were free to choose, I would choose you." He ran a hand over her thistle-soft hair. "That's why I couldn't touch you six years ago, even though I wanted to hold you and not let go." Spock reluctantly pulled his hand back. "That is why I cannot touch you now."

Leila crushed her pillow to her chest and cried herself to sleep. Spock watched over her for an hour, then left.

The colonists were all off-loaded at Starbase 12 for reassigning. McCoy marked the occasion by making a cabin-call on the first officer.

"Come," Spock replied as his door signal sounded.

McCoy came in sheepish, not wanted to overstep, but anxious to help his friend.

Spock looked up to see the doctor shifting from foot to foot.

"Is something wrong, Doctor?" Spock asked.

"I've been thinking of what you said the other day on the bridge," the doctor replied.

"Since that statement is so vague, I have no idea to what you are referring," the Vulcan countered.

"'I was happy,' you said," McCoy replied. "You said, "For the first time in my life, I was happy.'"

Spock just stared at the doctor. He did not know which way McCoy would take this statement, and he thought it best to just remain silent, be patient, and wait. They had all been under the influence of the spores--except the captain, of course. Surely McCoy wasn't going to . . .

Suddenly, McCoy thrust a preserved spore lily encased in transparent aluminum at Spock.

"Here," McCoy said abruptly. Spock took the clear bubble in his hands and examined the lily inside.

"I thought these had all been collected and destroyed, Doctor," he said at last.

McCoy fidgeted. "It would have been a shame to waste something with such promise," he said. "I'm sure the plant is just loaded with phytochemicals with hundreds of medical applications. I have several plants stored in safety lockers. I hope to do a thorough analysis of them to test my theories."

Spock held up the lily in his hand.

"And is this an invitation from you to join in your research?" he asked, hoping to divert the doctor from what he suspected was McCoy's real intent.

"You're always welcome to join me in the labs, Spock," McCoy said. "You know that." He pointed to the flower in Spock's hands. "I thought you'd might like a souvenir."

Spock raised a brow. Did the doctor know?

"You know, a remembrance," McCoy blustered, "for the first time in your life that you were ever happy."

Spock raised his brow again. Were humans really that dense? Had McCoy never heard of Vulcan -mastery- of emotions?

McCoy suddenly lunged for the lily. "Oh, forget it," he fumed. "God forbid I should ever try to get you to admit to emotions."

Spock pulled back and kept the flower away from McCoy.

"No, please, Doctor," Spock requested. "I would like to keep this specimen."

McCoy harrumphed. " A specimen!" he repeated. "Here I wanted you to have a memento, and you just want it for research purposes. Someday, Spock, you will see that logic isn't everything. Someday love will get through that thick Vulcan hide of yours, and you'll remember that first time you were happy."

Spock was still staring at the bubble-encased flower when McCoy stormed out. "I was happy," the Vulcan repeated.

Spock knew exactly what he would do with the lily.

End story 9

Next: Dear Valentine


	10. Spock and the Horrible, Terrible, NoGood...

Title: TREASURED MEMORIES Spock and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Author: Ster Julie

Series: TOS

Characters: Spock

Rating: G

Part 1/1

Tenth in a series

A/N #1 Remember "The Apple"? Spock tossed aside an unremarkable rock—that EXPLODED. Soon after, he took some poisonous thorns—shot from a flower—that were intended for Kirk. The antidote that McCoy gave him made Spock sick to his stomach. Later, at the shrine of Vaal, Spock walked into a forcefield and was then struck by lightning.

That was only the END of what turned out to be for Spock a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day! That day had a lousy start, too! Poor Spock!

Thank you, Judith Viorst, for writing "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day," and thank you, General Mills, for putting a copy of this book into my box of Cheerios, giving me the inspiration for this story.

A/N #2 I published this previously as a stand-alone story. Then it got swallowed up in my After the Credits series. I think it's true home is in the Treasured Memories series.

--oOo--

Horrible

A spate of Old High Vulcan curses chattered through Spock's mind as he splashed water into his eyes. The beard repressor gel dispenser had malfunctioned and splattered everywhere, including his eyes. Spock continued until most of the sting was gone. Peering through green-rimmed eyes, Spock saw that some of his eyelashes were gone from his left eye, and his right eyebrow was a bit thin. His vision was still blurry, and Spock wondered if he should stop by Sickbay.

"All hands, turbulence ahead," sounded throughout the Enterprise moments before the ship gave a mighty heave. Spock lost his grip on the lavatory door (due to his wet hands) and went sliding into his sleep chamber. He made a grab for the heavy drapery, which disturbed his weapons collection. The cudgel of his lirpa swung like a pendulum right into his Shrine of the Ancestors firepot. Ashes and embers rained down onto the carpet, which started to smoke. Spock pounded out the small flames with his hands.

Father Surak! he thought, What is happening! Spock rose and was brushing the sooty dirt off of his clothing and hands when the intercom sounded.

Terrible

"Mr. Spock, report to the Bridge." Spock went to the desk and found that he had to squint to find the respond button.

"Spock here." There was silence on the other end at first.

"Spock, I ordered you to the Bridge," Kirk said over the speaker. "Now get your Vulcan posterior up here." Spock sighed.

"I have had a small accident and need to stop by Sickbay, Captain," he explained sheepishly.

"Well, be quick about it. Kirk out."

No-Good

Spock stepped to his replicator to order up a breakfast bar, but instead the machine spat goo at him. Spock quickly yanked off his soiled uniform shirt, threw it into the chute, reached into his closet and found just one shirt left. Laundry had failed to return his uniforms again. He pulled the clean shirt over his head and walked quickly to the closest turbo lift, planning to call Laundry to complain about his missing clothes. He was distracted by the lift door closing on his foot. Instead, Spock called Maintenance about the repairing the turbo lift.

In Sickbay, Spock had to endure McCoy's teasing remarks about the missing hair on his face.

"Hey, Chris!" the doctor called. "Loan Spock your eyebrow pencil, willya? He's going to need it for a few days!" The nurse glowered at a chuckling McCoy as she put drops into Spock's eyes. She gave him a tissue to wipe the excess.

"Don't mind him," she whispered to Spock.

"I usually don't," he replied.

Very Bad Day

The mission to Gamma Trianguli VI tested what was left of Spock's endurance. First came the explosion from the rock he tossed aside. He was certain that his hearing was affected by the sizeable blast.

Next came the poisoned thorns Spock took in the chest as he attempted to get Kirk out of harm's way. Spock didn't know which was worse, the poison in his system, or the antidote threatening to empty his stomach of its contents.

The walk into the forcefield hurt Spock's pride more than anything else. It had knocked him on his ass, and rightfully so. Spock was so intent on the readout of Vaal that he failed to notice the tricorder's warning.

The lightning strike both frightened and perturbed him. One of the red-shirted security guards had been vaporized by the vicious and highly accurate lightning bolts. Spock wondered how he had been spared. It had rendered him unconscious, and he only came to when McCoy opened up Spock's shirt to examine the burns on his back.

Spock found the hand-to-hand battle with the natives difficult as he dealt with the cumulative effects of all the injuries he sustained that day. When the mission was completed and they were all safely back aboard the Enterprise, Spock had to admit that he never felt so relieved to leave a planet before!

Austrailia

Much later that night, Spock dragged himself back to his quarters. He sagged against the doors as soon as they had closed.

He regarded his desk. No, he was too exhausted to work or to even record his personal log. He looked to the bed. He was too keyed up to sleep just yet. His eyes went to the firepot from its new place on the floor. He was too unsettled to meditate. The burn on his back from the lightning strike precluded him from taking a hot shower.

It was his stomach that finally decided for him. At its loud rumblings, Spock realized that he was hungry. The bizarre events of the morning had prevented him from having any breakfast before going on duty. The anti-toxin that McCoy had given him down on the planet had nauseated him, so he was not able to participate in the impromptu luau the natives had held for them. After the mission was over, McCoy held Spock in Sickbay for a few hours as the doctor tended the First Officer's burn, the many small puncture wounds from the flower's thorny projectiles (which "itched like the dickens," as his mother would say), and the various abrasions and contusions the Vulcan had acquired that day.

Spock was VERY hungry. The replicator in his cabin was still not repaired (There had been no time to file a repair requisition before going on the away mission), but he was unwilling to leave his cabin to go to the Mess Hall.

His eyes then settled on the storage area behind his desk. Brewing a large mug of tea, Spock opened the cabinet and brought out a worn box and a shiny tin. Opening his box, Spock rifled through its contents and pulled out a slim, worn, hardbound, purple-covered, ancient paper book. Spock didn't bother with the desk or the chair. He just sat cross-legged on the floor, the book in his lap, sipping tea, munching on one of Amanda's homemade multi-grain cookies (the ones with the bits of his favorite dried fruits), and began reading.

"Babydoll,

When you are having a very bad day,

come to me and

you and I can plan a trip to Australia.

Love,

Mom"

Spock reverently ran a finger over the inscription. Some other mother wrote it long ago to some other child, but it always seemed like what Amanda might have written to him. This same book had seen him through many "terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad days" in his childhood. It, along with the rest of the contents of his box, was the only personal item Spock took with himself on that fateful day eighteen years prior, the day he left for Starfleet Academy.

Spock turned past the title page, the dedication page and right to page one.

"I went to bed with gum in my mouth

and now there is gum in my hair . . . "

Spock finished the last of the tea, and brushed the cookie crumbs from his chin as he closed the book with a small sigh. He stayed on the floor, lost in thought for a few minutes.

"Computer."

WORKING

"List suitable recreational sites in Australia, planet Earth."

FIN


	11. Dear Valentine

Title: TREASURED MEMORIES Dear Valentine

Author: Ster Julie

Series: TOS

Characters: Christine, Uhura, Spock

Rating: PG

Part 1/1

Eleventh in a series

oOo

It was Saint Valentine's Day by the old Earth calendar and love was in the air. Well, more for some than for others.

"Whose lame brained idea was it to serve heart-shaped pancakes?" Christine Chapel groused over her tray. Her tablemate glanced up from her assorted cards.

"Someone get up on the wrong side of the bunk today, Sugah?" Uhura cooed. "Now, what's the matter with the Sickbay Sweetheart? No Valentines?" Uhura looked down at the nurse's tray and gasped in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, honey. . ."

"Don't apologize," Chapel said. "I did so get a Valentine. I just don't flaunt it like you do."

"Chris, baby, a Valentine from me doesn't count," Uhura said gently. "Now, what's really the matter?"

Chapel got very quiet. It took her a long time to finally speak.

"It's just that . . . " she began in a soft whisper, "at the funniest times, the whole incident with the Platonians comes back to me. They ruined what could have been something beautiful between . . . -us.- I feel like I'm in mourning for what could have been."

Uhura covered Chapel's hand with her own as tears filled the nurse's eyes. Behind Chapel's head, two tables away, Uhura saw Spock's dark head lift and turn their way. Uhura kept her eyes on Spock's as she said to Chapel, "Have you ever said anything to him, Chris?"

"I should have gone to him right away," Chapel said, wiping her nose, "but the moment has passed."

Uhura shook her head minutely at Spock who had raised his brow as if to say, "Can I help?"

"This is all so silly. I'm just overtired from treating all those Rigelian fever cases" Chapel continued. "I just wish we could find some ryetalyn." As she wiped her face, Spock rose and approached the table, despite Uhura's warning. "It's over, it's done," Chapel continued. "There was never anyng there. There can never be anything . . . "

"My mother is fond of saying, 'Never say never,'" Spock said as he sat next to Chapel.

Uhura patted Chapel's hand, picked up her tray and left.

"We should talk, Christine," Spock said in a low voice.

Chapel gathered the scattered pieces of her flustered self and pulled herself together with great effort.

"About what?" she asked coolly.

Spock tipped his head to the side, smiling with his eyes.

"About the pachyderm standing between us," he teased.

Chapel was confused. "You mean the elephant in the room?"

"I believe I said that," Spock continued.

They both rose, Chapel with her untouched tray, and left the mess hall. Chapel pushed the uneaten heart-shaped pancakes at Doctor McCoy as she passed him at the door.

"Here." Chapel said. "Bon apetit."

Spock led the way to a nearby conference room.

"Neutral territory," Chapel commented.

"It's also very private," Spock said as he activated the door lock and switched off the security cameras. Spock sat adjacent to the nurse and studied her. "You look tired," he observed in a gentle voice.

Christine self-consciously patted and fluffed her hair.

"I mean to say that your eyes look tired," Spock continued.

"It's been a tough week," Chapel said unsteadily. "I've pulled four doubles in a row.

Spock nodded. "I understand," he said. "The disease has struck a large number of the crew. It is good that you have taken time off to replenish yourself."

Christine quietly studied her hands as they rested in her lap.

Spock took a deep breath as if to fortify himself. "About that pachyderm," he began. "Why didn't you tell me that you were still plagued by the incidents that occurred on Platonius?"

Chapel raised miserable eyes to Spock. "Why should I trouble you? It wasn't your fault." Her eyes fell to her hands again. "I sure my troubles are all my own making."

Spock raised her chin with one finger.

"Please don't," Chapel begged. "I've already been so humiliated by this."

"We were all humiliated," Spock reminded.

"It's just that, for these past years," Chapel said through her tears, "all I've ever dreamed of was holding you, kissing you. Now, the only memory I have is how hard we fought that kiss, that embrace." She turned away.

"Do you wish me to help you?" Spock asked gently.

Christine turned back. "How?" she asked. "Are you going to take away my memories?"

"Do you want me to?" Spock asked seriously.

Chapel shook her head. Spock breathed a little sigh of relief. He did not particularly want to relive those memories.

"Then we shall make new memories," Spock said as he rose, pulling the nurse to her feet with him.

"What kind of memories?" she asked fearfully, hopefully.

"These kind," Spock said as he tenderly took her face in his two strong hands and kissed her, sweetly, yet not -too- chastely.

After Spock pulled back, Chapel fell into his arms as they held each other gently.

"I am not actively searching for a mate until after this mission is finished," Spock informed Chapel. "My family has drawn up a slate of suitable candidates that I need to look over when I take leave."

Chapel pulled back abruptly. "So then, all this was done in pity?" she said angrily.

Spock took the nurse gently, yet firmly, by the arms. "No," he stated adamantly. "I told you this as a courtesy. I have a responsibility to look over the slate of candidates my family has assembled." Spock raised Chapel's eyes to meet his. "But I am not required to pick one of them."

"So, in the meantime," Chapel started.

"In the meantime," Spock answered, "I am performing my duties, seeing to my experiments and other interests, and . . ."

"And abstaining," Chapel finished. She sighed in frustration. The nurse paced away and thought a moment. This whole scenario was becoming ludicrous.

"Well," she started, "I think I need a change of scenery."

"Do you wish to move to another location?" Spock asked.

Chapel chuckled softly. Spock could be so wonderfully naïve when it came to idioms. "No, I mean -I- need a change of scenery, a radical change, a fresh start."

"What do you have in mind?" Spock asked warily.

"I put some things on the back burner when I joined Starfleet," she explained. "I think I want to revisit those options." Chapel looked at Spock. "While you are living your life, looking over your candidates, I think I'll try living my life. If God or Fate or whatever should cause our paths to cross again, then so be it." Chapel wiped her face dry, stood tall before her XO and mock saluted. "Thanks for the new memories, sir. Happy abstaining. -I- am heading for bed." As she moved to the door and it opened onto the corridor, she pointed at their imaginary elephant and said, "Boy, that little pachyderm sure can run."

Spock didn't have time to decipher that non sequitur before he was called to the bridge about a possible source of ryetalin in the Omega system.

Spock wearily dragged himself to his cabin. Not only had the visit to Mr. Flynt's planet been trying, he was also fatigued from the mindmeld he had performed on Captain Kirk.

Kirk had fallen hopelessly, completely head over heels for Flynt's perfect woman, the android Reyna. Spock couldn't bear to see his friend suffer so, and an illegal, highly unethical, unsanctioned mindmeld to dampen Kirk's pain seemed the only logical answer for Spock.

McCoy's treatise on love echoed in his mind.

"You'll never know the things that love can drive a man to: the ecstasies, the miseries, the broken rules, the desperate chances, the glorious failures, the glorious victories. All of these things you'll never know . . . simply because the word 'love' isn't written into your book."

Spock knew love. He knew the disappointments of familial love, always striving to be good enough, yet never succeeding; the pain of separation from a brother so dear; the anguish of watching a beloved pet die because of your own foolishness; the pain in a friend's eyes because you implied that she was not good enough for you.

All these thoughts tripped over themselves in Spock's mind as he walked down the corridor. He entered his cabin, finding a slim book of blank pages—a journal. A piece of lace, no more than braided hair, marked the first page where it was written in a woman's handwriting, "On Valentine's Day."

"Christine," Spock breathed, shaking his head. He opened the note that fell out of the journal.

_I have made some decisions about my future while you were on the landing party. I have decided to go back to school, medical school to be exact. And with all of the credits I already have, I could be a doctor in just a few years. _

_I have you to thank for that. You encouraged me, by your example, to begin living my life. I joined Starfleet to look for Roger. I stayed on the Enterprise because of my infatuation with you. This will be the first time I do something for -Christine.-_

_And so, I wanted to reciprocate for what you did for me earlier today. You left me with new memories, a bit of yourself. So, I am giving you a part of me._

_The last time I was on shore leave, I went to get my hair done. An old woman asked for a few strands of hair. She had amazing samples of her work all around her. I was game, so she combed through my hair with her fingers, removing just a little. By the time I came out of the beauty parlor, she had produced this bookmark._

_You had the opportunity to stomp all over my heart today, but you were gracious and gentlemanly. My very raw wound has finally healed. "'Thank you" seems so inadequate, so I will say this instead: Peace to you, dear friend. _

_Gratefully,_

_Christine_

_P.S. I don't miss that damn pachyderm one bit!_

Spock ran the lacy bit through his fingers, bemused. Christine Chapel was a good woman. It was good that she was going to fulfill her best destiny, and do it for herself.

Spock had no use for the journal, but her knew exactly where he would put this fragile memento.

End story 11

Next: Spock's Treasures


	12. Spock's Treasures

SPOCK'S TREASURES by Ster Julie

In memory of Bernie

Characters: K , S

Rating:G

Genre:Angst

A battered box

Old

Tired

Precious

Story of a life

Tokens

Momentos

A battered book

A broken string

Pieces of nature

A pretty rock

A dried flower

A shell

A leaf

A feather

A polished bit of wood

Memories of loved ones

A photo

A braid of hair

A piece of fur

A swatch of lace

A polished gem stone

A bit of blue ribbon

Admiral James T. Kirk reverently rummaged through the worn carton with the eclectic gathering of items. He wiped a tear away as he gazed at the family portrait.

"Spock couldn't have been more than seven years old. Probably his 'wedding,'" Kirk mused aloud.

He picked up the battered book and gave a puzzled smile. "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day," he read. Kirk knew that Amanda had a collection of old, paper books, but he didn't know that Spock had his own!

As Kirk paged through the book, a strange sensation enveloped him. He saw a sullen child, sore from fighting his schoolmates, reclining against a wall of shaggy fur, carefully reading this book.

Kirk blinked. Was this just his imagination, or was Spock's spirit still present here, the day after his funeral, sharing his memories with his friend?

Setting aside the book, Kirk gingerly picked up the braid of blonde hair. It was intricately woven, a delicate, lacy thing.

"Whose was this, Spock?" Kirk whispered aloud. He listened carefully as his fingers caressed the woven strands,

Spock entered his cabin, finding a slim book of blank pages—a journal. The braided hair marked the first page where it was written, in a woman's handwriting, "On Valentine's Day."

"Christine," Spock breathed, shaking his head.

Kirk blinked again, returning to the present once more. He knew that Christine Chapel carried a torch for Spock during the first five-year mission, so this gift, while amazing, was not unexpected. What did surprise Kirk was that Spock kept this very personal memento.

Next Kirk picked up a fragile piece of blue ribbon. He passed the satiny softness through his fingers and waited.

"Spock! Wait!" a woman's melodious voice called. Spock turned back to see his mother Amanda tear a length of ribbon from her clothing. She knew these robes were Spock's favorite garments on her. "Take this with you," she said tearfully. "Know that I am always with you." Spock took the ribbon from her hands, lingering his fingers on hers.

"I know, Mother," he said gently before turning to board the shuttle for Earth that would take him to Starfleet Academy.

Kirk looked again at the ribbon and noticed that the original shade of the fabric matched the color of Amanda's eyes. No wonder the robe was Spock's favorite.

Kirk put the ribbon aside and picked up a small conch shell. Holding it to his ear, Kirk heard a toddler's laughter on the occasion of his first trip to an ocean. Kirk had to pause as another bout of tears shook him.

Drying his face, Kirk next picked up a bundle of disparate items: a bit of polished wood, an iridescent feather shiny bright like new tin, and a broken harp string, which bound it all together. Holding the items, Kirk became aware of an adolescent's anger.

Young Spock took hold of his Vulcan harp by the neck and bashed it against the cave wall. The harp exploded into shards of wood as the "twang" of sundered strings echoed in the cave.

"Sybok!" Spock shrieked. "You promised that you would always be with me!"

Spock staggered to the mouth of the mountaintop cave and screamed until he passed out.

The warbling cry of the morning birds roused the sleeping boy. The fluttery touch of something brushed Spock's cheek and he opened his eyes.

Looking up, Spock saw the silvery birds cartwheeling on the morning breezes, showering him with discarded iridescent feathers.

Spock's katra drank in the vision and the consolation of the rarely viewed sight. He dropped into the meditation pose and contemplated the recent events—Sybok's exile and his own response. After a time, he rose and gathered a handful of the feathers. He then picked up the largest shard of his spoiled harp and wound its attached string round, making a package of wood and feathers. Tucking it into his tunic, Spock began the long hike down the mountain.

Kirk shook himself. He never realized how deep Spock's anger could reach.

The admiral was shocked at the next item—a dried Omicron Ceti III spore lily encased in glass. "For the first time in my life," Kirk tearfully remembered his friend saying, "I was happy."

Admiral Kirk was not able to sort through the rest of items in the box as the housekeeping crew arrived just then to pack up Captain Spock's quarters before they reached spacedock.

The admiral dried his face and nose, cleared his throat, and straightened his shoulders. Kirk replaced the lid on the battered little carton, tucked it under his arm, and marched out of Spock's cabin one last time. Kirk missed his Vulcan with a passion born out of years of friendship, of being t'hyla, but he had to now consider the living.

Kirk had a boatload of traumatized cadets and of walking wounded, especially his other "other half," Leonard McCoy.

Just as the admiral carried the Vulcan's treasures in the box under his arm, Spock was the treasure Kirk carried in his heart.

It was time to move on.

FIN


	13. The Treasured Box

THE TREASURED BOX by Ster Julie

Sequel to SPOCK'S TREASURES

RATING:G

CODES:K, Ch, Sa

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Star Trek. It may own ME, however…

Dr. Christine Chapel couldn't help it. No matter how hard she tried, she wasn't strong enough. The minute she saw the lost look in the eyes of Admiral James T. Kirk as he answered her signal, she burst into tears and launched herself into his arms.

"I'm ­ so sorry for your loss, Admiral," she blubbered. "Spock was a good, good man!"

Kirk responded stiffly. Yes, the doctor had been their colleague, but the admiral needed some professional guidance.

"Dr. Chapel," he began.

"Call me Christine," she interrupted. Kirk pulled away from her.

"No," he stated firmly, keeping her at arm's length. "I don't need sympathy now. I need some professionalism." Chapel wiped her eyes and snapped to.

"Of course, Admiral," she said coolly. Kirk dropped his head, chagrinned.

"Call me Jim." Chapel was puzzled.

"If I'm to call you Jim, why can't you call me Christine?" she asked in confusion.

"Because Kirk the Admiral doesn't need counseling," he explained, "but Jim the man does."

"Why me?" Chapel asked. Kirk took her hands.

"I can't talk to Spock," he explained, chin quivering, "and McCoy is ill. I know you loved Spock, too." They both blinked back tears. "And I trust you."

Chapel blushed in embarrassment over the praise.

"Thank you, Adm … Jim," she corrected. He squeezed the doctor's hands.

"Besides, it had to be you," he said. "You have to see what I found." Kirk released her hands and put Spock's treasure box on the counter. Chapel delicately touched the worn carton.

"What's in it?" she queried.

"You'll see," Kirk replied, picking up the box and leading her to the sofa.

"Before the cleaning crew came to pack Spock's effects," Kirk began, "I went and sorted through his belongings. I found this box." He paused, caressing the frayed lid. "You won't believe what's in here," Kirk said through tears as he removed the lid.

Chapel looked at the formal portrait with a sad smile. Spock was so young, so solemn, so cute. Next Kirk held up the shell.

"Dr. Chapel," he said with difficulty, "when I hold each item, it tells me its story." He handed her the shell. "This was from the first time Spock ever saw an ocean. He was two years old." Chapel took the shell and held it to her ear. "What do you hear?" Kirk asked.

"The ocean," she replied. "Why? What do you hear?"

"I hear a baby laughing with delight," he answered. Chapel blinked back tears as she put down the shell.

"Spock once got so mad that he smashed his harp," Kirk said, holding the bit of wood, wire, and feather. "I don't know the particulars. The silvered birds of dawn woke him up and calmed him down." Chapel stirred.

"Seeing the silvered birds is a rare thing," she observed. "It must have been a healing moment for Spock." Kirk didn't respond. He pulled out the ribbon next.

"His mother gave him this when he left home for Starfleet Academy," Kirk explained. "Tore it right off her robe." He next picked up the glass bubble. Chapel stiffened.

"Is that what I think it is in there?" she asked. Kirk nodded.

"An Omicron Ceti III spore lily," Kirk replied. Chapel didn't ever want to remember that day, the day she saw Spock in the arms of Leila Kalomi. Brushing aside angry tears, she pointed to a brown patch of fur.

"Is that an ear?" she asked in distaste.

"Yes," Kirk answered, "from his pet sehlat. This animal saved Spock's life when he was a boy by sacrificing its own." Chapel fastidiously put the ear aside.

"Some children have security blankets," she said. "I guess Spock preferred an ear." Kirk picked up the leaf.

"This is from the singing vines of Talos IV," he stated coolly. Chapel caught Kirk's mood shift.

"What's wrong, Jim?" she asked with concern. Kirk straightened his shoulders.

"I'm not finished," he said as he pulled out the book.

"Hey," Chapel said, "I read that book as a kid." Kirk pushed it to her.

"Open it," he ordered. The tone of his voice shook Chapel, and she was suddenly afraid to obey. "Do it!"

Chapel jumped and opened the book. She started to read the inscription, but Kirk turned to another page.

A fragile piece of lace fell out. Chapel recognized it immediately and teared up again.

"Yours?" Kirk demanded. Chapel nodded.

"I was on shore leave, and I was going to get my hair done," she explained. "An old woman asked for a few strands of hair. She had amazing samples of her work all around her. I was game, so she combed through my hair with her fingers, removing just a little. By the time I came out of the beauty parlor, she had produced this bookmark." Chapel caressed the lacy bit and her lip trembled. "I gave it to him on a whim, after Platonius. I never dreamt he would keep it." Kirk covered Chapel's hand with his own.

"Of course he would keep it, Doctor," Kirk responded. "You were special to him." Chapel's head snapped up.

"Special?" she echoed. Kirk nodded.

"Yes, special," he replied. "Whenever he was sick or injured, he came looking for you. If he was unconscious, yours was the first face he'd look for when he came to. He trusted you more than McCoy because he knew you had actually studied on Vulcan. He couldn't relax when you weren't on shift." Chapel started to cry angry tears.

"Don't you dare tell me he loved me," she grated, "not after he's lost to us!" Kirk took her by the shoulders.

"I can't say that because I don't know how he felt," he began.

"Yes, you do," Chapel interrupted. "Spock's feelings are all in this box. This shell showed he took delight in creation. This ribbon showed he was loved by his mother, and he loved her enough to keep it. This book was perfect for the problems of childhood, and we know Spock's childhood was difficult. This wood showed his anger and the feather showed his consolation. This ear showed gratitude for a pet's devotion. This leaf showed his loyalty to Christopher Pike, who was a father figure to a lonely Vulcan youth far from home." Kirk stiffened again. Chapel looked from him to the box and back again.

"There's nothing from me," Kirk whispered, miserable, "not a thing." Chapel looked into the box. There was a non-descript rock that she had cause to remember. She held it out to Kirk.

"This represents you," she stated with conviction.

"Me?" Kirk said. "I don't recognize it." Chapel smiled gently.

"You wouldn't." She placed the rock firmly in his hands. "Your first mission as captain of the Enterprise was to Janus V."

"The horta?" Kirk said. "That mission came later."

"We encountered the horta on our second trip to Janus V," she explained. "Our first trip was to render aid after the cave-in at the mines. You and Spock were pulling miners out left and right. Spock passed the last one to you just as the roof collapsed.

"You were knocked in the head. Spock was pinned under all that rock. You pulled every bit of it off of Spock and carried him to safety." Chapel held up the rock. "I removed this from his boot. It had slipped inside in the cave-in.

"Spock's injuries were easy to patch up," she continued, "but you slipped into a coma. Spock wouldn't leave your side for three days, not that he could go far with three broken ribs and a fractured leg. That's when his loyalty passed from Pike," she held up the leaf, "to James T. Kirk." Chapel squeezed the rock into his hand. "Your friendship grew to be as solid as this rock."

Tears flowed freely down Kirk's cheeks.

"How could I ever have doubted that?" he asked.

"You just didn't remember," Chapel said gently as she placed the other items back into the box. Kirk placed the rock atop the lid and sat back. Wiping his face, he said, "I could use a drink. How about you, Doctor?" Chapel checked her chrono.

"It's too early for drinks," she hinted. "It's barely halfway through Alpha shift, and I go on duty in a few hours." She rose from her seat on the sofa. "Have you seen any of the other senior officers?" Kirk stood and walked her to the door.

"They are coming over tonight for drinks," he said. Chapel nodded.

"Good," she said. "Give them my regards." Chapel's eyes were drawn back to the box. "What are you going to do with it?" she whispered. Kirk lowered his head.

"I don't know," he answered. "I think Amanda would appreciate it, but Sarek might toss it out as so much garbage." He looked up at Chapel. Do you want your … ?"

"My hair?" she thought. "No, keep it in the book. Just the thought that he kept it all these years was enough." She gathered the admiral into her arms. "Thank you for sharing this with me," she said. "Call me anytime."

"Absolutely," Kirk smiled gently. "Thanks for stopping by."

On her way out the door, Chapel pointed to Kirk's bar.

"No drinking alone!" she ordered. "Wait until the guys come over tonight.

"Yes, Doctor," Kirk replied with a mock salute.

(Much later that night, after the mindmeld with Sarek.)

As Kirk moved to leave his apartment with Spock's father, the Vulcan ambassador espied the Vulcan's family portrait. His hand shot out and snared the photo.

"How did you get this?" Sarek demanded. Kirk blinked. He thought everything was back inside the box. "You have it, do you not?" Sarek asked hopefully. "The box? Spock's box?"

Kirk moved slowly back to the counter and pulled out the worn carton. Sarek lifted the lid and stared inside.

"He added to it, I see," Sarek stated quietly. He touched each item with reverence, his eyes misting. "Thank you for retrieving this, Kirk," he said, replacing the lid and moving as if to take it.

"Wait!" Kirk pleaded. "Could I have one thing from it?" Sarek was incredulous.

"It must be kept intact," he stated firmly. Kirk was confused.

"What is the purpose of this box, Sarek?" he asked. "Why is it so important?" Sarek caressed the frayed carton. He had to collect himself, to pause at length, before he could speak.

"When I gave Spock his first lesson in emotional control," Sarek began softly, "I gave him this box. I told him to place into it anything that represented his emotions." Sarek had to pause and take several deep breaths. "A Vulcan feels, Admiral. Vulcan emotions are very strong. If we do not master them, then they will master us." His hands idly stroked the box. "I told Spock that he could have any emotion, as long as it was kept inside himself, just as these items are kept inside this box." Kirk silently contemplated this.

"Do you know which item is yours?" he asked Sarek gently. The ambassador popped the lid and extracted the polished rock. His fingers rubbed the marred surface before handing it to Kirk.

"When Spock was a year old," he said in a tiny voice, "his mother and I formally presented him to the family. Spock was fussy that day because he was teething. He decided that my jewelry soothed his sore gums." Kirk examined the scratches on the stone.

"Teething marks?" he said in amazement. "Spock teethed on a stone?" Sarek shook his head.

"No, he teethed on my formal jewels," he corrected. "I replaced the stone and gave this one to Spock. Eventually he put it in his box." Sarek met Kirk's gaze levelly. "We weren't always at odds, Admiral."

Remembering his manners, Kirk brought Sarek a glass of water, which he graciously accepted and downed in one gulp. "We should get over to Starfleet Command if we want to go over those ship's logs, Mr. Ambassador," he said gently. Sarek handed back the drained glass, picked up the box and turned toward the door.

On the walk to the transport station, Sarek turned to Kirk.

"Which item is yours, Admiral?" he asked gently.

"It was the gray rock," Kirk answered. "We were trying to evacuate trapped miners when there was another cave-in. I was hit in the head, but Spock was buried under rock. Somehow I was still able to pull Spock out. It was our first real mission together. A rock was later found in his boot," Kirk grew quiet. "Because of the nature of my injuries, I didn't remember the incident, nor did I recognize the rock." Sarek stirred.

"How do you know of these occurrences, then?" he asked.

"Then-Nurse Chapel found the rock and gave it to Spock as a souvenir," he said. "She just told me of this today. She said that Spock, despite his own injuries, kept vigil at my side until I recovered. He considered this the beginning of our friendship."

Sarek was quiet a long time. As they approached the transport center, he asked, "Do you wish to have the rock?" Kirk thought a bit, then shook his head.

"No," he answered. "Just knowing that he saved it means a lot."

They were met at Starfleet Command with the news, "Commander Spock's burial tube has been found intact on Genesis." Sarek turned to Kirk.

"They have found my son's body," he said, and we have his heart, his treasured box. Let us find who has his katra."

And the rest, as they say, is history.

FIN


End file.
